Selfishness

It’s always good to strive for excellence. To be better. To advance yourself. To do good for yourself. After all there’s so much to learn and so many things you have to master.
This pursuit hides a black hole behind it.

Look at your mindset and the things you do daily. Deeply. If they are concerned with you learning something new, getting your work done, getting your body in shape ,etc… then you have a problem.
All of that will make you feel like you’re advancing and that you’re doing very well. It might as well feel like you’re getting closer to your goal day by day.

You’ve to be careful. Behind all those well meant actions is something that will destroy you. When everything you do is all about YOU, then selfishness will kick in. Selfishness can easily consume you. There will always be something you need to do, something you need to learn, something you need to catch up with or check out. The list is endless, isn’t it!

If you delve into this endless circle where everything is about you, nobody will be there to pick you up when you fall.

It’s good to strive for excellence. It’s really bad to only see yourself.

Brute Force

It always pays off to have a plan. A strategy. Specific steps you have to do in order to reach your goal. It gives you feedback whether you’re on track or off track. Yet, that will not always work out…

When the goal is too far, too hard to reach or too important, your best bet becomes the “Brute Force” strategy. You’ve got to use every weapon in your arsenal, close your eyes and have faith that the best is going to come (regardless of what it is).
While it takes all your energy, Brute Force pays off.
ALWAYS!
Use it carefully.

SMART is NOT smart!

We’re constantly being reminded to set goals. Since a very young age, the advice that I kept getting is set a SMART goal. I think we have grown accustomed to this goals focused mind-set. I think that’s wrong. I doubt that a goals focused mind-set is any good for you. Here’s why I think so:

  • Goals are destinations not journeys.
    You’re either there, or not there. When you’re there, you’re happy but that only lasts for a day or two. You spend most of the time fighting to get there, however, you never celebrate the fight.
  • We set our goals so high.
    Because we are encouraged to dream big and be ambitious. If you like pushing yourself hard (like me), you set a high goal and you don’t reach it. You fall down, pick yourself up and plan for another high goal that you don’t reach. You spend some time in this vortex till you give up the whole issue.
  • You acquire a destination oriented mindset.
    Your day to day mental voice is shouting “Results, Results, Results!”. It becomes what you eat, what you think about, what your breath. Until the pursuit gets the best of your soul. You start serving your goals instead of having your goals to serve you.

 

 

The power of observing

In AIESEC we have this tradition of “Check-In” that we do before we start a meeting. You simply state what you have done today so you can put it aside and focus on what is about to happen in the meeting.

Loving the concept so much, I started to “Check-In” to my bed every night.
Because I believe in watching myself not asking it, I wanted to separate me from myself as much as I can.
Just like as if someone else is asking me one simple question: “How many productive tasks have you done today?” I would answer only in numbers. No emotions, no criticism, no frustration. Just a number. I would keep track of this number in my mind for days.

I did this for a week. What I found shook me and shocked me.
I wonder what will you find out?

Discipline.

Of discipline I speak; for it’s mandatory for success.

Here’s what I learned of it so far:

  • I lack discipline.
    It’s true. I was never forced to do anything I hated for all my life. I’m passion driven not discipline driven.
  • Discipline is paramount.
    Rome wasn’t built in one day nor anything else worth building (your dream). You ARE to do things that you don’t want to!
  • Discipline is about saying NO.
    Saying no to things you like, to people you love and to things you want to do.
  • Discipline is about FOCUS.
    The more focused you’re the easier it is to say no.
  • Discipline is simple, yet HARD!
    Get focused and consistently say NO!

The Impossible Dream!

The road is undefined and hard. Guidance is scarce since it’s your quest. You might get lost. You might even forget who you are, who you want to become. Your goals might become vague. Changing the world is an overwhelming task. Having a myriad of options, getting lost is eminent.

I’d say go back to basics. Go back to certain principles that you know about how the world works. Go back to those things about you that you love, appreciate and think that they define who you are the most.

Most importantly, have the courage to work up from there and commit yourself to certain actions and decisions that you feel come out from who you really are.

Watch yourself do not ask it!

If you really wanna know who you are, don’t ask yourself. We all have this feeling that we are good whatever that means (it varies accordingly). It makes us feel better about ourselves. It is very hard to admit that you stand on the bad side, although you might be thinking that it is easy.

If you wanna know who you are (vital question to your growth), watch yourself act when there is no time to think. That is when your true self will be visible. You can talk about your values all day long, yet they are not what you’re about unless you act according to them without thinking.

We all love to talk good about ourselves. It takes courage to watch carefully what you do spontaneously and decide who you really are now. You will find lots of crap in there. Fix them. Watch again. Repeat.